• Afraid
• Shocked
• Numb

It may be hard to decide what to do next. You may want to:

• Find out as much as you can about what happened.
• Help yourself and your family
• Help others who are going through the same thing

A few weeks after it is over, you may feel:

• Really mad
• In a bad mood
• Afraid of the future
• Guilty because there was nothing you could do

You may also feel that:

• You don't trust anyone
• It was "all too much for me" (overwhelmed)
• You are not getting enough help
• The help you are getting is not good enough
• You want to be alone

The way you feel may affect your body. You may have:

• No desire to eat OR you may eat too much
• Upset stomach
• Headaches
• A hard time sleeping
• Crying spells

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For yourself

• Try to eat meals at the normal times
• Get enough sleep
• Do some kind of exercise
• Take a step back and look at what happened
• Try to solve problems WITH other people, not alone
• Take some time to be alone
• Take some time to be with loved ones or friends
• Try to enjoy the small things of life
• Go easy. Do not ask too much of yourself

For your spouse

• Take sometime to be alone together
• Take time to talk about what happened
• Keep an open mind. The way YOU think about what happened may NOT be the way your spouse sees it.
• Be more willing to listen
• Take turns hearing what the other has to say
• Hug each other
• Don't take your anger out on the one you love

For your children

• Kids have their own way of dealing with things. If you have young children you may find they:
• Go back to baby things, like sucking their thumb OR wetting the bed
• Want to be close to you all the time
• Don't want to go to bed
• Have bad dreams
• Cry and scream
• Pretend that the "bad thing" never happened
• Become very quiet
• Don't want to play active games
• Don't want to go to school

(con't)

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• Start to have problems at school
• Hug them or hold them. This makes them feel safe.
• Tell them about safety rules so they know what to do if it happens again
• Spend more time with them. 
• Try to be there at bedtime
• Praise them when they do things right - child is coping

Here are some things you can do to help your children:

• Talk about what happened
• Tell them about it in a way they will understand
• Say how YOU feel about what happened
• Let them know they are safe. Tell them this OFTEN

For older parents, friends or relatives

• Let them talk about how they feel
• Try to find out what they are afraid of AND what they need
• Respect what they say and the choices they make
• Let them know that they WILL be able to cope. Remind them that they coped with many other bad or sad things in their life
• Offer to help them out by driving them places or helping around the house
• If you can't help them, tell them about people or groups who can
• Plan to do something with them that they enjoy, like playing cards
• Don't pressure them to make any big changes, like selling their house

For your community

• Listen to people who are having problems
• Say how you feel about what happened
• Keep in mind that tempers may be short. Some people may be having a very hard time
• Tell people where they can go for help, if you know where to go
• Give credit to all those who are helping out

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