Abstinence means choosing not to have sexual intercourse.

• It works by saying "No".
• It's your right to be in control of your body and your sexuality.
• It's your right to take your time in making decisions that affect you for life.
• It's wrong for a partner or friends to force choices on you.

Sometimes it's hard to say "No"

Saying "No" is easier when...

1. You've thought through your reasons and you're sure about what's right for you.
2. You practice.
3. Your body language also says "No".

Saying "No" gives you time to really know yourself and your partner... time to share feelings and fears and to talk about where your relationship is going.

Reasons for saying "No" to sex or choosing abstinence might be:

• It's okay not to have sex.
• I don't feel ready.
• I have other priorities and goals.
• I feel confused and afraid.
• It doesn't fit with my moral values and religion.
• I want to be sure of our relationship and commitment to each other.
• I prefer to wait until marriage.
• We need to discuss what having sex means first.
• It's not worth risking pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections.
• I don't know enough about preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.
• My partner isn't willing to use methods to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.
• Abstinence is a birth control choice and a safer sex option.

Stand up for what you believe is right and best for you... and you don't have to defend your reasons for saying "No".

Talking about your sexuality...
	It may be hard to talk about your sexuality, but open communication is key to a satisfying and healthy relationship for both partners.
	Agreeing on sexual limits with your partner beforehand sets the tone for a healthy relationship.
	If you're not yet able to talk about sex, don't have sex.
	Wait until you've learned more... about what a sexual relationship means, about communication, and about your own feelings and values.
But what will my partner or friends think?
	We all worry at times about what others think of us.
	Partners or friends may put pressure on you to "join in".
	What matters is how you think and feel.
	Respect for individual choices is a very important quality in healthy relationships.
Remember...
	Your body is not something to give away. Sex is not something to just give in to, or try to just to see what it's like.
	Everyone is not doing it ...in spite of what they say.
	A healthy relationship will survive even if you say "No". Discuss your reasons and your feelings.
	Even if you've already had sex, it's okay to say "No" to having it again, with the same partner or a new partner ...you have the right to be in control of your body and your sexuality.
	There are lots of other ways to be close and express love...check out More than sex... Who woulda thought?